Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
