ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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