I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
