I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
