you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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