Who did Billy Mays play for?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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