the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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