Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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