I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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