is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
