Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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