In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
