whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
