I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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