Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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