Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
