Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
