Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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