Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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