The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize