btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
