Kiss
Puke
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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