he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
