if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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