Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize