And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
