Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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