can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
