I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
