I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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