Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
