can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
