You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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