I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Semen is not good for contacts.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
