I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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