if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Who died my cat blue again?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
