Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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