Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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