Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
it's like heaven, but drunker
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
