i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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