She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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