I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
