Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
