..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
