Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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