I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
