Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
