She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
