Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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