Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
