If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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