Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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