Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize