i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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