you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
