yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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