Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
