I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
